look no pants
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
