the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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