You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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