are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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