id be glad to
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
