How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
