I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
