You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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