this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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