Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
