New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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