i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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