pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
