pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
