There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
mondays should just be called national damage control day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
