She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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