Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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