never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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