He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
