i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
