dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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