You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
