It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
