"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
