What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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