Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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(630): View more from Illinois

i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together

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(210): View more from Texas

Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who is this?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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(+49): View more from Germany

In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"

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(914): View more from New York

And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.

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