i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
