sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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