so that wasnt chicken after all
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
