just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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