Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
