every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
