I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
