Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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