Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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