fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
