Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
