Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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(727): View more from Florida

but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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(408): View more from California

worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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(517): View more from Michigan

You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins

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(520): View more from Arizona

You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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(773): View more from Illinois

If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar

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(586): View more from Michigan

I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza

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(443): View more from Maryland

You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.

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