What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
