i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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