In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
