the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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