Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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