i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
