you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
