Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
