i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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