Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
