Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
