I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
